13

很想知道

自己到底到什麽時候才可以恢復正常

也許明年再回顧現在的我

連自己都會笑吧

年少輕狂

很容易喜歡一個人

其實也是一種幸福啊

等我40歲的時候 可能會懷念这個瘋狂的，不顧一切的自己吧

現在能做的

只是不斷的讓自己變得更好，更快樂

Jessica加油！

12

I know I've probably done this a thousand times before, and it kinda never really worked out

But I still want to type it out, simply because I have a good feeling about this

So here it is, my new term resolution:

1. Focus on school and achieve what I consider as reasonable standards for myself

I never really compete with anyone else, it's always been a challenge for myself to do better, and I will have to try harder next term. I need to redirect the focal point of my school life and turn the studying up by a lot. Yes, I do plan on being a nerd next term =)

2. Get a part-time job and earn enough money for that thing I want

So to reward myself after a hardworking study term, I am planning on going to Dominica for Christmas. Yes it is just a thought and yes it may not happen due to unanticipated factors (work schedule, time, etc.), however, I have to work first and have enough money for it to begin with. I am working on this already, interview with the Bookstore and hopefully I will get it and start saving for a little. It'd be best if I get other jobs as well, just to be safe about the sufficient fund I might need if the trip is happening.

3. Make friends, not boyfriends

I've witnessed enough unhappy events associated with boyfriends my friends have/had. I know I've been really crazy and obsessed lately about this one person, but I do think I know better to not get involved unless it's absolutely right and one hundred percent certain. I am going to keep on expanding my social network circle and meet more great friends in school. At the mean time, I will keep everything strictly "friend-ly". No targets, no liking, no nothing. I am only 20 and I've got lots of time in the near future to meet the right person, at the right time too.

I will try to evaluate my achievements at the end of the term. Hopefully in 4 months time, everything will go according to my plan. I am not going to lie, I do look forward to this one =)

11

If this is the price I have to pay for growing up, being single, and feeling alone

then okay, I accept it

Because it's not the first time I've done it

Because it's not everyday I fall so deep

Because you're not just anyone I know

Because only through pain and disappointment will I find what I want

Maybe I am needy right now because I am lonely

Maybe I am just making it worse for myself

Maybe two weeks after I will feel nothing

Like I did with him

But the fact that I feel something so strong in the past month, now, and possibly in the near future means something

You are special to me, and it's a shame that I am not to you

I would love to be your friend, just a friend

But it's probably not a good idea for me, not something for you

I am sorry

I like you enough to put you away, give you up, let you go

Even though we're only friends

10

我想減肥，想保養好我的皮膚，想染回黑髮，想少喝酒，想認真讀書

想變成理想中的人，只因爲我喜歡你

喜歡你，所以讓我想更喜歡我自己

讓我想過的更好些，更快樂些

自己好，自己快樂，才能有讓你快樂的能量

如果這是對的，不管多久，多難，都會發生，在一起是終點

如果這是錯的，我會忘記你，不管我有多喜歡