17

5年后的我，一定要是堅強，快樂，成功的！5年后的你呢？希望你能成功長大~

16

I wonder, if I have the power of pushing people away or sending the wrong messages.

This isolated feeling is probably created by me

But I do like to feel alone sometimes

Maybe tomorrow should be a candle + ice-cream + sappy movie day~

After a little drink and wings that is.

How do I keep myself positive ans smiling?

By crying alone.

15

Life has been calmer than always, it feels great.

I hope this lasts before some horrible drama arises.

At this point though, I don't see it.

Simply because I'm not looking for drama or anything/anyone that will cost any.

On another note, the changes i sense should trigger me to a decision?

Sigh, one that I probably will regret not making or making either way.

14

It's been a while since I last blogged (okay, it may not be THAT long, but still quite a while).

So I've been pretty busy with all the end of summer trips and leading the Orientation.

August had been really great and so is September so far.

It was extremely difficult to start post #14 because I honestly don't know what I should blog about.

My emotion's been all over the place lately, and it's not the best feeling in the world.

I love love love my friends who have always been there and always hearing my complains.

They really kept me going, even though we have our moments.

I am just insanely jealous of the people who are happily committed.

Insanely is not a bad word, jealous is not a bad word; I am happy for them.

They make me smile~

Jason was telling me how our pictures together (me, him, and Wayne) makes him smile every time he sees it. I totally understand, it makes us feel like we are in the old days again.

13

很想知道

自己到底到什麽時候才可以恢復正常

也許明年再回顧現在的我

連自己都會笑吧

年少輕狂

很容易喜歡一個人

其實也是一種幸福啊

等我40歲的時候 可能會懷念这個瘋狂的，不顧一切的自己吧

現在能做的

只是不斷的讓自己變得更好，更快樂

Jessica加油！

12

I know I've probably done this a thousand times before, and it kinda never really worked out

But I still want to type it out, simply because I have a good feeling about this

So here it is, my new term resolution:

1. Focus on school and achieve what I consider as reasonable standards for myself

I never really compete with anyone else, it's always been a challenge for myself to do better, and I will have to try harder next term. I need to redirect the focal point of my school life and turn the studying up by a lot. Yes, I do plan on being a nerd next term =)

2. Get a part-time job and earn enough money for that thing I want

So to reward myself after a hardworking study term, I am planning on going to Dominica for Christmas. Yes it is just a thought and yes it may not happen due to unanticipated factors (work schedule, time, etc.), however, I have to work first and have enough money for it to begin with. I am working on this already, interview with the Bookstore and hopefully I will get it and start saving for a little. It'd be best if I get other jobs as well, just to be safe about the sufficient fund I might need if the trip is happening.

3. Make friends, not boyfriends

I've witnessed enough unhappy events associated with boyfriends my friends have/had. I know I've been really crazy and obsessed lately about this one person, but I do think I know better to not get involved unless it's absolutely right and one hundred percent certain. I am going to keep on expanding my social network circle and meet more great friends in school. At the mean time, I will keep everything strictly "friend-ly". No targets, no liking, no nothing. I am only 20 and I've got lots of time in the near future to meet the right person, at the right time too.

I will try to evaluate my achievements at the end of the term. Hopefully in 4 months time, everything will go according to my plan. I am not going to lie, I do look forward to this one =)

11

If this is the price I have to pay for growing up, being single, and feeling alone

then okay, I accept it

Because it's not the first time I've done it

Because it's not everyday I fall so deep

Because you're not just anyone I know

Because only through pain and disappointment will I find what I want

Maybe I am needy right now because I am lonely

Maybe I am just making it worse for myself

Maybe two weeks after I will feel nothing

Like I did with him

But the fact that I feel something so strong in the past month, now, and possibly in the near future means something

You are special to me, and it's a shame that I am not to you

I would love to be your friend, just a friend

But it's probably not a good idea for me, not something for you

I am sorry

I like you enough to put you away, give you up, let you go

Even though we're only friends

10

我想減肥，想保養好我的皮膚，想染回黑髮，想少喝酒，想認真讀書

想變成理想中的人，只因爲我喜歡你

喜歡你，所以讓我想更喜歡我自己

讓我想過的更好些，更快樂些

自己好，自己快樂，才能有讓你快樂的能量

如果這是對的，不管多久，多難，都會發生，在一起是終點

如果這是錯的，我會忘記你，不管我有多喜歡

9

我，

會放棄

嗯，

決定了

8

The whole world think it's impossible, but I love mission impossibles.

You make others seem unfit, plain, not right.

Life~ is a funny thing =)

7

I don't want you, you, and you.

Thanks!

6

想要的不一定得的到

自己的快樂比較重要

看開點

生活會順很多

=）

5

我，很怕孤獨

想要不斷地充實每一天

但是好累哦。

從今天起，我要享受和自己獨處的一分一秒

4

所以這就是Bryan說的感覺

第一次覺得自己還蠻成功，蠻大量的

聽到了Kat的抱怨，覺得她比我其實幸運很多

但是，真的是要放下才會有幸福

現在的我，很多困擾

可這些困擾已是爲了另一個人了

煩，苦惱，心情的起伏

都是爲了他

還真的蠻幸福的~

3

有點痛

有一種被在乎的人背叛的感覺

雖然他也有他的立場

只是覺得自己真的把他當朋友

可能我從來就什麽都不是吧

2

瘋

最近有點瘋

要停下了

1

刪除了以往的不成熟因爲我的生活還不錯，沒有什麽我想要改變的。

沒有想過剪頭髮，染頭髮，燙頭髮。覺得頭髮很可憐。

沒有想過減肥，節食，運動。知道自己貪吃又很懶。

沒有想過回到過去，因爲過去沒有很快樂。

我真的很累很累。最近過得太豐富，太墮落。

很怕自己會在哪一個聚會突然死去，身體真的還蠻可憐的。

對男生有點反感，覺得除了做朋友外，沒什麽可想的。

很怕自己有給別人錯誤的信息，因爲我要一個人很久很久。